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3rd time might be the charm!
Oct. 16th, 2024 09:27 pmhello! it's me again. so i made a new account; my last account felt kind of like there was some barrier between me and it. a lot's changed.
more identity confusion! but it isn't as frequent. i got on zoloft and have it i think one of the highest doses i can get. i still haven't asked for an increase to my risperidone. for the most part, i think i'm free from trouble, at least for now. i found more communities i could settle down in, and those feel a lot better.
i still have my lovely friends: aaron, doutzen, and dante; ari and revito have been gone for a while, but i still care about them. so far, aaron's mutually subbed to me right now (hi aaron!). i started junior year as well. the initial start of it was horrible. but it's way better now. :3
this seems a little disorganized because i'm a little disorganized. i've had like 3 entire character arcs while i was gone, including having sprained my knee while visiting family over the summer (keep in mind, it wasn't any of the water park's attractions, it was a chair at the wave pool because i had to check on a blister that hurt like hell!).
ANOTHER IMPORTANT THING: minecraft! i've been playing that again recently. getting back into minecraft led to getting back into modding led to my interest in tech rising severely. and i still need to play it again with my friends, but my friends were having tech issues. :( i love modded minecraft tho. it's amazing how much modding has improved since childhood. both modding and the base game! i love the pale forest, i need to play whichever version has it because it's so enchanting to me. i'm fixated. the malum mod is so far my favorite minecraft mod, it's so much fun to do weird magic with spirit crystals.
i've went to quite a few witch markets, sparked by being a newer pagan while my mom is more experienced than i am. i've gotten so much stuff, mom's ordered more, i do wanna get my own altar set up at some point. the main point of interest is some jewelry and accessories i got: one of them's a necklace with some shrew bones in the charm, it's really pretty to me. another i got from a shop at the market where you could pick a crystal and get it made into a necklace or bracelet, and you get a chart of metaphysical properties as well. opalite first caught my attention, mainly because there was a really well cube-shaped one. upon getting the little laminated chart, i learn that opalite has the properties of optimism, good luck, and reflection; exactly what i needed! so i got that opalite cube made into a bracelet and i've worn it almost every day while going out.
it's weird, because i'm genuinely not used to having life be so soft and gentle to me. when you've known only suffering and negligence for a majority of your teenage years, it's unfamiliar when you feel safe and loved. i still need to lower myself out of survival mode.
overall, i'm happy, i'm recovering, and i'm especially silly (a silly billy even, hehe).
more identity confusion! but it isn't as frequent. i got on zoloft and have it i think one of the highest doses i can get. i still haven't asked for an increase to my risperidone. for the most part, i think i'm free from trouble, at least for now. i found more communities i could settle down in, and those feel a lot better.
i still have my lovely friends: aaron, doutzen, and dante; ari and revito have been gone for a while, but i still care about them. so far, aaron's mutually subbed to me right now (hi aaron!). i started junior year as well. the initial start of it was horrible. but it's way better now. :3
this seems a little disorganized because i'm a little disorganized. i've had like 3 entire character arcs while i was gone, including having sprained my knee while visiting family over the summer (keep in mind, it wasn't any of the water park's attractions, it was a chair at the wave pool because i had to check on a blister that hurt like hell!).
ANOTHER IMPORTANT THING: minecraft! i've been playing that again recently. getting back into minecraft led to getting back into modding led to my interest in tech rising severely. and i still need to play it again with my friends, but my friends were having tech issues. :( i love modded minecraft tho. it's amazing how much modding has improved since childhood. both modding and the base game! i love the pale forest, i need to play whichever version has it because it's so enchanting to me. i'm fixated. the malum mod is so far my favorite minecraft mod, it's so much fun to do weird magic with spirit crystals.
i've went to quite a few witch markets, sparked by being a newer pagan while my mom is more experienced than i am. i've gotten so much stuff, mom's ordered more, i do wanna get my own altar set up at some point. the main point of interest is some jewelry and accessories i got: one of them's a necklace with some shrew bones in the charm, it's really pretty to me. another i got from a shop at the market where you could pick a crystal and get it made into a necklace or bracelet, and you get a chart of metaphysical properties as well. opalite first caught my attention, mainly because there was a really well cube-shaped one. upon getting the little laminated chart, i learn that opalite has the properties of optimism, good luck, and reflection; exactly what i needed! so i got that opalite cube made into a bracelet and i've worn it almost every day while going out.
it's weird, because i'm genuinely not used to having life be so soft and gentle to me. when you've known only suffering and negligence for a majority of your teenage years, it's unfamiliar when you feel safe and loved. i still need to lower myself out of survival mode.
overall, i'm happy, i'm recovering, and i'm especially silly (a silly billy even, hehe).
